{prologue}

preferred to be called: qI
years of existence: Officially 23
preoccupied with: running, rowing, slacking, stoning, the internet, cafes , star-gazing

*loves:
the sea
sea breeze
stars
teh
kaya toast
adidas
mocha
nike sports bras

*DREAMS:
GTO Wanna-Be
Boat shed by the Reservoir
Sunrise by the Beach
Driver in shades

PDA phone
Travel
Adidas shades
Tees and shorts for teaching
Notebook- A gold coloured one?
iPOD Nano 4GB
driving licence
Fossil Gold Wallet
backpack
track pants

My del.icio.us}
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linkies}
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ALANIS MORISSETE lyrics

 Afianne
Blogskins.com
Moargh
44suburbia
Foto Decadent
 

August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] June 2007[x] July 2007[x] August 2007[x] September 2007[x] October 2007[x] November 2007[x] December 2007[x] January 2008[x] February 2008[x] March 2008[x] April 2008[x] May 2008[x] June 2008[x] July 2008[x] August 2008[x]

Pick yourself up and go.

Did lotsa reflections these days. Kind of looked at my weaknesses more den my strengths. And it seems like I have more weaknesses den strengths haha.

Since when have I become pessimistic.

Got to learn to accept setbacks. I remember a quote some where. haha " Trials are meant to strengthen a person" or sthg like dat. I guess so. Only when you fall dat u realise ur flaws. Woah..tink it rhymes there haha. Be patient with setbacks. Days, months, years...even if things dun get better, at least be thankful dat it had happened.

Learn to be objective when seeing things. Im too persistent sometimes.

Learn to treasure ppl ard me. Im too wilful sometimes to listen. Learn to understand the world before wanting the world to understand me.

Sometimes I wished dat things dun change. But please..haha I need to grow. What wouldnt change these days..the earth is round. Move on.

Be clear of what you want. And go out there to achieve it. Stop thinking dat much. Save the effort to plan instead.

What's in 2007 for me. I dunno. But at least I know what i want to achieve out of it.

9:18 AM
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My All Time KTV Favourite

<勇气>

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里你的真心

如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急更害怕错过你

11:47 PM
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<一个像夏天 一个像秋天>

第一次见面看你不太顺眼
谁知道后来关系那么密切
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天
却总能把冬天变成了春天
你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼
遇见一个人然后生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你
你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的锻炼
遇见一个人然后生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你
你了解我所有得意的东西
拆穿我留些意怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形像保密
如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你

10:59 PM
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My birks are soaked!

A rainy morning and i decied to walk to Buangkok this morning to catch the train instead of Hougang. No whys. But just feel like it. I love the rain..when I dun haf to get up early to go somewhere haha

I dun like rules. Yes. Im too arrogant sometimes to listen. Yes. Im too insistent sometimes. Yes. I need some courage here. Yes.

The holiday was a pretty good show. 4 different love stories twisted into one lovely happy ending.

It felt really sweet to see the leads fall in love.

Will you still fall for me if u met me 3 years later, like now...?

9:12 AM
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In a competition, as much as you feel the pain and discomfort, your opponent will feel the same too. It's just how much more pain you can take which differentiates you from your opponent.

Remembered this from my JC days.

Get up and get going, girl. It's just the beginning. Dun tink too much . You know you are strong. And everyone else knows dat.

Come on.

2:58 PM
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Some things have changed while some things have not.

Some things which I wish will not change had changed.

Some things which I wish will change have not.

Yesterday some one taught me some thing bout 'doubts'. Are there really black and white in this world? I wish there are. Or is it really these in-betweens which gives us more 'life'.

I wish for a simple life.

Watched Robin's soccer match dis morning. Something which I always like doing. I remembered watching his takraw finals last IH. It was a really good one and hopefully this year, I can be there to support his team for their finals!

Finally went down to paddle this afternoon. My sun and sea! haa But trg was bad.. I was the last boat for most of the sets. sighh kind of disappointed but just cldnt push. Was tired from the late nights I had from the past week. I need more mileage. Both running and kayaking! Fitness is going down..it doesnt feel good. Oh well.

7:14 PM
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I dun wanna be a bitch.

10:00 AM
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Touched By A Song.

Before Your Love - Kelly Clarkson

I wonder how I ever made it through the day
How did I settle for a world in shades of gray?
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same
And you don't know how
And I looked into your eyes
With the world stretched out in front of me and I realized
I never lived before your love
I never felt before your touch
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive
But then again, I wasn't really living
I never lived before your love


I wanted more than just an ordinary life
All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky
I stand before you when my heart was in your hands
And I don't know how
I survived without your kiss
'Cause you've given me a reason to exist


I never lived before your love
I never felt before your touch
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive
But then again, I wasn't really living
I never lived
I never lived before your love
I never lived before your love


And I don't know why
Why the sun decides to shine
But you breathed your love into me just in time


I never lived before your love
I never felt before your touch
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive
But then again, I wasn't really living
I never lived
I never lived before your love

12:31 AM
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Oh man. My first training after many many none training days! My body's aching..wooo..And i realised the amount of fats dat has accumulated around my waist. I had problems with leg trust, oblique cycling..arghh damn. My muscles were wobbling..or rather my fats were wobbling from the "plank" exercises. I used to be quite good at those exercises involving the core muscles. But now..Im a lil cui. =(

Ok and I havent been running. Stamina muz haf dropped too.

Have already submitted my registration form for teaching. I have really no idea watz ahead of me. But dun wanna think too much too. I need to find meaning to do the things Im doing.

10:41 PM
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Love every bit of the trip. Though the weather turned bad..we still managed to enjoy ourselves during our short trip.



The thrilling go kart ride. We went up and down the bumpy jungle tracks and sea side. Heng bin is a good driver haha. This one muz haf licence one leh haha..dun play play.



Photo taken at the coconut drink hut where we took a break from the bumpy ride. Traditional kampong feeling =)









Our dinner for the first night. You definitely have to admire us for this meal. For 2 person, we ate a total of 5 dishes! One crab, one fish, one lo han zhai, one fried tofu and assam sotong! haa damn shiok. The restaurant was called the kelong haa. damn traditional lor...it was a beach side restaurant. We wanted to go drink after that but we were both too full!! haha for any alcohol.





Me penning down some thots at the restaurant before leaving for SG. sighh I really will miss the short time we had in Bintan. Made a date with Bin to come back next year!

7:04 PM
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I need a rewarding career. And I need to find meaning in the things I do.

Now, I cant find meaning in the things I do. Corporate life is not my kind of life. Can I see myself climbing the corporate ladder in 5 years time? 10 years time? I cant...Yes I have only been working for less than half a year. But Im already dying..I havent got used to working? Maybe? But will I ever like this kind of life. The job Im doing is interesting. But it's not enough to justify things Im putting into it. The satisfaction seems superficial. An element of emptiness in it.

Why teaching? I wanna impart the values and what i've learnt to kids before they grow old and step into the working world. I hope to inspire. ( Wah! haha is it exxagerating?) But seriously, datz wat I hope to achieve out of this life. Why have I been putting away the job to teach? Cos Im afraid of commitment. At this age, I havent really thot about my future. Yes, bin, I havent thot bout it.

Staring at the sea at Bintan, I tried to calm my soul. I dunno wat I wan out of this life. While you know what u want.

I din used to feel so lost. I alwaz knew wat I want. Dat was years ago. haha. It's like as a person matures, there're more things to think bout. And I kind of forgot bout wat I want ..amidst my many thots. I need time and space to sort things out. I need fresh air and sunshine to brighten my life. I become frail in air-con.(giam-cai mia =( ) I need my confidence and drive. This is not me..At least I hope this is not the "me"

Bintan was a good break. I've alwaz wanted the time to gaze at the sea. And finally haf the time and space to do so. I broke down. In front of the sea. Just trying to pull all my thots together ..thinkin of wat has happened so far. Thinking bout lotsa things. This year is the worst year I've ever had. Next year will be better. Be strong and stay focused. I need to find my way.

2:01 AM
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Grant me the faith. I want to trust.

9:16 AM
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I feel like a panda dis morning..

*yawnz*

9:50 AM
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No expectations girl.

Not that I don't cherish. But maybe it's more comfortable that way. Just wanna be happy as long as we're together. Just don't want expectations to spoil the relationship.

Maybe we just need more time. We're not at the cross roads I guess. But just a milestone, a checkpoint. =)

Oh well.

2:19 AM
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Searched thru YouTube for the "Step Up" soundtracks. Thumbs up to the movie. A simple yet inspiring plot.

Passion. Dreams.

Words which have slipped my mind as I grew older.

12:36 PM
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12.38am...

And Im still in office. My colleagues are playing around with our app liao.

I just yawned...

12:39 AM
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It's Friday. But Im stuck in the office working on our product specs. Just had Macs for dinner ..sinful..

And alright. Think boss gonna start now..

Gotta go....

9:41 PM
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Number 1- To stay injury-FREE!!
Number 2- Work-Life Balance!

And more to come .....=)

1:35 AM
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Guess the most fruitful days of my life was still NJ. That was when I had a team with me.

Train hard for the team. Row for the team..Not for own personal glory. Use your strength as a gift to help others in the team.

I can't comprehend why people do things for themselves when they're in a team sports. Team before self. Isnt it alwaz like dat? As I got older, things that I've learnt and datz been taught to me didnt look dat way anymore.

Im looking forward to trg with my NJ team mates for the round SG DB charity race organized by Yong! Very much looking forward to it. I hope Im able to find back the meaning of being a team den!

1:28 AM
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Got up really early this morning to send dad off to the airport. Barely 2 hours of sleep..yawn..Company him for breakfast and followed by a long wait for taxis. Sent him off for his 11am flight and headed to renew my PDL at the Changi Airport SingPost. Finally managed to get it done but i do haf my reservations on getting the instructor that I called earlier. He sounds really lor soh..Just a single point, he has to emphasize many many times..grrr..

Went to visit my grandma next. Bought chicken rice from Hougang Central before heading down to the old aged home. And cos she ran out of toiletries, i went out to buy the ones which she specified. Finally I was back with her shopping list all checked. And after getting her next week's orders, I left to run my final errand. -- To buy lunch for my mum. Got her the wanton mee from the same coffee shop in hougang central. The stall was well decorated with certificates and news clips haha. The lady added lotsa ingredients! For 2.50, it was really worth it!!

haha and now I am. Done with my museli and about to fall asleep ....zzzz

2:30 PM
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Dad called while I was in the meeting just now.

My eldest cousin passed away in Penang. It was first shocked then stunned. He's still really young. 30plus only. And I alwaz remembered him as a really jovial guy. My memories of him are little and vague cos our family seldom return to visit. So our contacts are also at the bare minimum. I guess everyone in the family is shattered by the news, especially his parents and siblings. He's a really nice guy..but till date, he had been single. Not too sure how did he pass away..but RIP, ah-hui kor kor.

Dad's flying over tmr to attend his wake. But not sure what his arrangement is like. He din get everyone else to go..Just flying over alone. And it was too late for me to take leave too. Will get up early tmr to send dad off to airport. Think he's angry with me for not being home when things bad happened. Alright, the teh peng just now is making me wide awake now but I shld try to catch a quick nap. Nite~~

4:44 AM
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Just back from work not long ago. At least today we had the luxury of going to our boss's new place to work and not be stuck in the boring office. Alright it's 440am now haha. We worked till 3plus and went for supper @ Fong Seng. Last night was even later. We worked till 4plus am. ahaha den went back in cabs. I tink the company's expenses this month is going to be increased! haha with so many of us taking cabs back home after our late nights.

It's projected that the late nights will persist for another 2 weeks till we get our product sort out. So..here goes.

Have been bingeing...got to stop this before i really cant stand staring into the mirror. Ok..Jia You!

4:38 AM
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I binge my morning away...

bAD..can feel my tummy growing. Ok 1st Dec marks the day where i shall start trg all over again. Be healthy and stay happy!

9:06 AM
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